The best day of the year ...

... is today. 'Cause today is the day that spring training begins, that pitchers and catchers start reporting to their various warm-weather camps in Florida and Arizona. Today, every Major League Baseball team is the same, starting at 0-0, with an equal chance of ending up in the World Series in October. Sigh ...

Well, actually, that's all bunk, as any loyal fan of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and Detroit Tigers and, yes, Chicago Cubs will tell you. But one can dream, can't they?

Can't they?

King of the Dogs!

Behold the most perfect dog in the world, at least in the eyes of the Westminster Kennel Club. Rufus the colored bull terrier beat out more than 2,600 other canine to take the "best in show" prize this evening. His prize? A free steak from Sardi's and probably all of the doggie sex he can handle, since he will be popular as a breeder when the time comes. A dog's life for me, even with a head that looks like that.

P.S. "Colored" bull terrier? Were they originally called Negro bull terriers?

Wacky Olympic ho-hah

Actually, it's a lot of nothing, but I found it, well, incongruous that while Tonya Harding is getting a makeover (!) on Entertainment Tonight, Nancy Kerrigan is doing special Olympic coverage for ET's sister show, The Insider. Maybe this arrangement works because the two of them are on separate continents at the same time.

By the way, in terms of Tonya's makeover ... er, no.

A real education ...

The issue of whether public school students should be forced to wear uniforms has always been a perplexing one to me. Part of that may be because I had to wear a uniform for four years when I was attending a Catholic grade school and thus can see both sides of the story. On the one hand, uniforms are an economical way to protect kids from the elements without the peer pressure of having to wear the hottest and coolest and most expensive thing in order to keep up with the "hip" crowd. On the other hand, it's during their school days where the personalities of children are formed, and having to wear the same thing day after day is not exactly conducive to individuality.

I bring all of this us as an ass-backwards way to back into the main topic of this post, which has something to do with how clothes can sometimes backfire on students, but much more with why some people should not be charged with teacher our young people anything. A few weeks ago in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania, an unfortunately titled town outside of Pittsburgh, a high school junior named Joshua Vannoy ran into a buzzsaw - namely, a "teacher" named John Kelly. From the AP:

Sunday, January 29, 2006

BEAVER FALLS, Pa. -- A 17-year-old high school student said he was humiliated when a teacher made him sit on the floor for wearing a Denver Broncos jersey.

The teacher, John Kelly, forced Joshua Vannoy to sit on the floor and take an exam in an ethnicity class two days before the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Broncos 34-17 in the AFC championship game. Kelly also made other students throw crumpled up paper at Vannoy, whom he called a "stinking Denver fan," Vannoy told The Associated Press.

Kelly said Vannoy, a junior at Beaver Area Senior High School, just didn't get the joke.

"If he felt uncomfortable, then that's a lesson; that's what [the class] is designed to do," Kelly told The Denver Post. "It was silly fun. I can't believe he was upset."

Vannoy was wearing a No. 7 Broncos jersey on Friday, because he is a fan of John Elway, the Broncos' retired Hall of Fame quarterback.

Vannoy said he was so unnerved he left at least 20 questions blank on the 60-question test, and just wants out of Kelly's class because he's afraid the teacher won't treat him fairly now that the story reached the media.

Cool, right? But, wait, it gets better. Kelly, who said that the class he teaches is about diversity and the sometimes isolation circumstances of such, was not punished or even admonished for the incident by his principal or the school board. (The district said that Kelly had suffered enough from the publicity.) Vannoy, meanwhile, says that he received phone threats against his person from other students, missed a week of school because of such, and now has transferred out of the entire school district to an unnamed school where he may be able to start anew. (But, hey, Vannoy did get a free heat-massage chair designed by John Elway himself for his trouble, so I guess it's all good, right?)

I'm sorry, I thought the point of high school was for the kids to get an education, not to be chased from the institution because of prejudice. And while being shunned wearing the "wrong" football jersey may not compare with the shunning of pregnant girls or gay students or such, it is still just as stupid. John Kelly - apparently one of the most popular teachers at his school - should have been fired or suspended on the spot the moment this story broke, and because he wasn't, the people above him should be evaluated for their qualifications to hold on to their posts. This entire thing is ridiculous.

Note: I guess Vannoy should be thankful that the Broncos lost to Pittsburgh. Who knows what would have happened to him otherwise?

A Hare-y proposition!

There have been some wacky trades in the annals of sports history. Players have been swapped for equipment, managers and coaches have exchanged jobs - and, yeah, there have been occasions when the a guy has been traded for a "player to be named later," only for said unnamed player to end up being the same guy. (We won't even go into Lou Brock-for-Ernie Broglio, the very mention of which sends waves of nausea into any good Cub fan's stomach.) So what went down today between two sports networks wasn't that unusual. For NBC Sports and ABC/ESPN did some wheelin'-and-dealin' today.

NBC Sports got sportscaster Al Michaels to headline their upcoming Sunday Night Football NFL franchise alongside John Madden, with whom Michaels worked on ABC's "Monday Night Football," which is moving to ESPN after 35 years.

In exchange, ABC/ESPN got the rights to extended highlights from such NBC Sports properties as the Olympics, the Kentucky Derby and the Ryder Cup, the chance to promote ESPN's version of "MNF" on NBC's NFL broadcasts, and ...

... a rabbit.

But not just any rabbit - Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, best known as Walt Disney's precursor to Mickey Mouse. Disney had created the happy hare while he was with Universal back in the 1920s, but left the studio and the bunny behind over a contract dispute and went on to establish his own shingle and cast of animated characters. Nearly 80 years later, mergers had created the perfect scenario for Disney Studios, now the owner of ABC and ESPN, to regain ownership of a part of its founder's heritage from what is now known as NBC Universal.

A look at Oswald (he's the one on the right, by the way) reveals the natural "family" resemblance and makes it understandable while Disney would give up an actual living human being to get him back. But this isn't just a nostalgia-based transaction. 'Cause this is the 21st century, brother, where everyone and everything has to earn its keep. Turns out Oswald is being lined up for a three-episode gig on "Desperate Housewives" as Gabrielle's new boy toy. Can't wait for May sweeps!

'Curious' timing

Many of you may be aware that a big-screen version of the "Curious George" series of children's books is due to be released on Friday, with Will Ferrell and Drew Barrymore among the stars suppling voices for the animated feature. You may not be aware of what has gone regarding one of the men who was pivotal in establishing the popularity of the precocious monkey and his exploits:

BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. - Alan Shalleck, who collaborated with the co-creator of 'Curious George' to bring the mischievous monkey to television and a series of book sequels, was found dead outside his home, and police were treating the death as a possible homicide.

The bloodied body of Shalleck, 76, was found Tuesday covered in garbage bags in the driveway of his mobile home. Police said it was there for at least a day before a maintenance man discovered it.

They say out here in Hollywood that there's no such thing as bad P.R. I'm not sure Mr. Shalleck would concur with that. If he could concur with anything at this moment, that is.

WHY?

For the love of God, why?

The ’hog says ...

Well, officially Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning, meaning that there's going to be six more chilly weeks of winter. (Keep in mind, of course, that it's been hovering around 50 degrees for most of the winter in the Punxsutawney area.)

In reality, I'm always thinking that Phil is really saying, "Who the f--- keep waking me up every February? Can a brother hibernate in peace?"

He also may be ticked that the ceremony this year became a de facto Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl rally. I mean, what if Phil's a Seahawks fan? Anyone ever consider that?

It's tough to be a groundhog these days ...

From "Full House" to crystal meth? Egad!

And no, we're not talking about one of the Olson twins. But you're close. I had heard rumors about this, but I guess it's true, 'cause Jodie Sweetin, who played irritating middle child Stephanie on the irritating sitcom "Full House," is indeed a recovering meth addict. She spoke about it on this morning's "Good Morning, America" (click on the subject line above for the complete story). Now, there's plenty of room here to be cynical and crass and rude (which was, you will remember, Stephanie's tag line - "How rude!"). But all I will add is that she's lucky she got out of it before it totally ruined her looks, as longtime meth users make crack addicts look like Miss American candidates. Oh, and all of this puts Dave Coulier being on "Skating with Celebrities" into perspective.

WOW

Click on the subject line to go to a story about a piece of reality that had to be expected, but maybe with a bit more fanfare. The skinny is that, after 145 years of tradition and overuse of the word "STOP", Western Union has ceased its telegram service. Of course, in a world of unlimited long-distance calling and e-mails and BlackBerrys (well, for now, at least), the need to run to the local WU office to send a quick note about how the new baby was doing or a request to home for some cash was a bit unnecessary. But wouldn't you have expected some sort of hoopla - a cash prize for the last person to buy a telegram, or something?

This coming from a man who has never used a telegram in his life, of course.

Coretta Scott King, 1927-2006

Behind every great man, there is a great woman. And how.

Rest in peace, Mrs. King. And be sure to tell your husband that we appreciate everything he did - and everything you both continue to do.

My Oscar nomination predictions! (Or, how wrong will I be this year?)

Yes, I'm back after a month full of work and unrelated distractions. And what better way for me to begin again with what my friends have come to know as my annual frequently wrong predictions for the Academy Awards nominations. It's this time of year that I become, temporarily, an honorary gay man when it comes to my obsession over the flood of award shows that infests the popular culture. And the Oscars, for all their high-mindedness and arrogance, are the granddaddy of them all. So I've been doing this for a while now - sometimes in actual print for pay, but always for my posse of close buds. Now that I have a blog, I'd thought I'd share.

There are many ways to do this, and I've done most of them. Often I will list my picks in terms of locks, likely-to-be-nominated, and darkhorses - the best way to hedge my bets (i.e. cheat without cheating). This year, I'm feeling frisky, even though for the second year in a row this is a case of knowing who's likely to win the whole thing but not necessarily the challengers who will lose to the winners come Oscar night. Nevertheless, they're only predictions. It's not like I'm putting money on this stuff or anything. Thus, my ideas for the major categories. Tune in to E! or your local morning news tomorrow at 8:30 a.m. et/5:30 a.m. pt (!) to see how wrong I really was.

BEST PICTURE
Brokeback Mountain
Crash
Good Night, and Good Luck
Munich
Walk the Line

BEST ACTOR
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
Terrence Howard, Hustle and Flow (I just have a feeling about this one. Even though the genres are completely different, this has Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean written all over it.)
Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain
Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line
David Strathairn, Good Night, and Good Luck

BEST ACTRESS
Joan Allen, The Upside of Anger (This may be more wishful thinking than anything. I'm perfectly prepared for this one to go to Keira Knightly or Charlize Theron instead. See, I'm hedging again!)
Dame Judi Dench, Mrs. Henderson Presents
Felicity Huffman, Transamerica (!!!!)
Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
Ziyi Zhang, Memoirs of a Geisha (There a touch of make-up about this one, as in "We should have nominated you for Crouching Tiger - sorry!")

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
George Clooney, Syriana
Matt Dillion, Crash (Either him or Don Cheadle - or maybe both)
Paul Giamatti, Cinderella Man (See Ziyi Zhang above, i.e. Sideways)
Jake Gyllenhaal, Brokeback Mountain
Bob Hoskins, Mrs. Henderson Presents

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, Junebug
Maria Bello, A History of Violence
Scarlett Johanssen, Match Point
Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardner
Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain

BEST DIRECTOR
Woody Allen, Match Point (More of a celebration that Woody can still make movies than anything else)
George Clooney, Good Night, and Good Luck
David Cronenberg, A History of Violence (Again, wishful thinking)
Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
Steven Spielberg, Munich

Update on Mozart's skull - or is it?

Well, it wasn't quite the debacle of Al Capone's vault, but ... well, click on the subject line to fine out.

And meanwhile, the corpse of Salieri still has an complex.

American Hero ...

There are those who complain that the term "hero" is overused and thus has lost some of its meaning. In fact, we don't use the word nearly enough. Part of that it because you can never have too many heroes these days, but another part is that many who do heroic things in this culture go unnoticed. Of course there are heroes putting their lives on the line in Iraq and such right now. There were heroes on 9/11, heroes currently working on our local police and fire departments. You would hope that every mother and father would be a hero to their kids, and a few still are, I guess. And then there are heroes like Hugh Thompson, who do the right thing and pay the wrong kind of price for it.

Hugh Thompson died yesterday at the age of 62. Sad to say, I didn't know who he was until the obits started rolling on Friday. Click on the subject line above to learn about another side of heroism.

Just call him Scarface ...

The National Enquirer is reporting that Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, already have named the male child currently subletting Paltrow's womb. This is a story of some note considering the colorful record the couple has when it comes to bestowing names onto their offspring, as big sister Apple can (and will) attest to. So what will the world be calling the upcoming tot? Capone. Apparently this was Martin's idea, so I guess the name could have been Clocks or X&Y or something like that. But do you ever wonder what names these two give their pets?

Bring me the head of Amadeus Mozart!

Yep, scientists are trumpeting that they may discovered ol' Wolfgang's dome, and will reveal the DNA results during, naturally, a documentary/reality TV show that will air in Austria this coming weekend. Word is that Owen Wilson is in preliminary negotiations to play the skull in an upcoming movie.

Click on the subject line to read the complete article.

Awwwww!!!!

It's a new year, a new day for all involved with this shiny blue marble of a planet, and the folks at The New York Times are going for that feeling of renewal and restart by washing out our smelly mouths with a story about - cuteness? Yeah, click on the subject line to be whisked to a land of fluffy pandas and precocious penguins - and scientists determined to figure out what makes one thing cute and another thing not. Now, I love cute. Just yesterday I saw a squirrel and a rainbow at the same time, and you can't get much cuter than that. But I would hope scientists would be dealing with stuff like, well, cancer and AIDS and famine and the like instead of the obvious, like why fuzzy is wuzzy.

Penguins are cool, though.

Hey, look at that ...

... it's 2006.

A new year. A new chance.

Let's not screw this one up, shall we?

Rainy day ...

It's the last day of 2005, and it's raining in Los Angeles. If not cats-and-dogs, it's definitely a puppies-and-kittens type of rain, and the forecast is that it will span the gap between years, ending sometime on the second day of 2006. Which means that the hallowed Rose Parade is likely to get a bit soggy for the first time in a long while. But water is supposed to be good for roses, right?

In a way, it's nice that it's raining here today, even if the vast majority of Los Angelenos are either shaking their fists at the sky in fury that their plans to hit the beach have been foiled - or, more likely, are wondering in terror where the bright yellow light they've grown so accustomed to has gone. But for me, it's kind of symbolic of the washing away of the residue of a year that was pretty rough on a lot of people. Or maybe just Mother Nature's last raspberry toward the human renters of her planet, another reminder of who's really in charge - as if we needed one after all of the hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis and Nick-and-Jessica stories that invested the Earth for the past 12-plus months. Either way, the rain kind of justifies my time-honored decision not to venture out into the drunken pathways that mark the New Year's Eve festivities. I'll be sipping my non-alcoholic sparkling cider, on my balcony, bidding 2005 a proper adieu.

Happy New Year, suckers!

Christmas with a twist

I have very talented friends and family. My brother is an artist. Many of my chums are writers, which makes sense considering I am as well. And my dear friend Rachael, my first college buddy, is not only an excellent singer, but a budding filmmaker as well, thanks to her boyfriend Brendon. The two of them just sent me a Christmas-themed short that Brendon directed and Rachael contributed to, and I thought I would share it with my audience, all four of you.

Click on the subject line to get a smile to put on your face.