Humbug ...

Is anyone else having trouble getting into the holiday spirit? Anyone? Anyone?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I don't know what it is. Could be the economy being in the toilet, or the terrorism that has ramped up overseas, or the fact that the most legendary strip club in Hollywood burned down this morning, or the news that Paris Hilton wants to play Tinkerbell in the upcoming live-action version of her story, or that Pushing Daisies has been canceled.

Or maybe it's just me.

Anyway, I've been encouraged by someone near and dear that I have to start blogging on a regular basis again. So I will endeavor to do so. And I'll try not to bring the room down in the process.

Yeah ... this probably isn't the best way to start 2008!

That's right ... Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline, together, if only for a few minutes hours over the New Year's holiday. The two "stars" were at the same Las Vegas party over the weekend, and People magazine goes so far as the two had some private time in Paris' hotel suite.^*(I'm sorry if you were eating just then.)

What's more pathetic - the tabloid twins possibly hooking up, or K-Fed's excuse for a haircut? Actually, I think it's the fact that I'm eating up precious bandwidth writing about this. So forgive me. Please.

^*I guess we'll know soon enough if Ms. Hilton and the former Mr. Spears actually got jiggy with it - if Paris announces within the month that she's pregnant with white-rapping triplets, that's probably a "yes".

And now, some helpful words of advice to Isaiah Washington, Ann Coulter, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan's parents ...

And while you're at it, go play in traffic. Happy Monday!

(A [dis]honorable mention to Jerry Seinfeld, who advocated bee rape in recent comments of his own. Makes one pine for the heady days of Michael Richards, no? Yeah, maybe not.)