No way, O.J.

Word has come down the pike that NewsCorp, Rupert Murdoch's Mom-and-Pop media conglomerate that has given us such fare as House, American Idol, Cops and the time-honored classic When Animals Attack, has, after an apparent weekend bout of "What the heck are you thinking?", decided not to publish If I Did It, O.J. Simpson's heartfelt tome about how he (would have) savagely murdered his former wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman - had he been in a position to do it, of course. The two-part TV special that would have been a companion piece to the book - that's off as well. (Murdoch himself is quoted by the AP as saying that the whole thing was "an ill-considered project." No shit, Sherlock. Your business acumen astonishes.)

No word on how Simpson reacted to the news of his thwarted plans when he was informed on a nearby golf course while conducting his never-ending search for the real killers, or what will happen to the $3.5 million he - oh, excuse me, his kids - were to receive for his finely honed work. There's also no word about how Judith Regan will sleep at night now that her attempt at self-catharsis has been nipped in the bud. But there is word on how Fox will deal with the two hours of dead air it just picked up as a result of O.J.'s abrupt cancellation. Rumor is that at least one of those hours may be filled by a to-the-death contest of "the dozens" between Mel Gibson and Michael Richards. Now that's entertainment!