Drunk baby!

There are so many things wrong with this story, it makes you reflect on the line from the film Parenthood when Keanu Reeves' dippy-but-profound character reflects on how you need a license to drive a car or own a dog or even go fishing, but how any dumb schmo can have a kid and become a parent. Ponder that, true believer, as you read the following news story that comes from the Colorado Springs area:

A 2-month-old girl brought to Memorial Hospital on Sunday with a blood-alcohol level equivalent to four times the legal driving limit for an adult was reportedly given formula mixed with vodka instead of water by mistake.

The baby was in good condition Monday after being taken to the hospital by her parents about 3:30 a.m. Sunday.

The baby’s parents did not return a phone call from The Gazette, but a family member told the newspaper the incident was an “accident” tied to an “unfortunate chain of events.” She would not elaborate and did not want to be identified.

The baby’s mother, however, told KKTV she mixed

a 3-ounce formula bottle for her daughter, not knowing the liquid in a water bottle was vodka, according to the station’s Web site. Sarah Smith, 19, told the station the accident happened Saturday night when the baby’s father went into a store to get diapers and she and the baby — who became fussy — waited in the car. She then made the baby a bottle.

Yeah, apparently the vodka was already in the car. And do I have to point out that the baby is not the only underage person described in this article.

Allow me to alter the paraphrasing of the movie quote above: Anybody can have a baby, but not all of them are parents.

Click on the headline to read the rest of the article, if you must.