Now, follow along, kids - this gets a bit complicated. Well, not complicated so much as bloody bewildering.
This is Lisa Marie Nowak. She's a captain in the United States Navy, and one of a handful of astronauts currently in the employ of NASA. Capt. Nowak has a distinguished record to be proud of - graduate of the Naval Academy, several medals, not to mention a recent successful mission on the space shuttle to the International Space Station. Her official NASA bio lists her hobbies as bicycling, skeet shooting, gourmet cooking and growing African violets. Oh, and she's also married with three children.
Now, this is Capt. Nowak earlier tonight. Looks a little different, does she? Well, there's a good reason for that - she's under arrest in Orlando for attempted kidnapping, attempted theft of a vehicle and other charges related to her allegedly trying to confront and abduct a woman whom she thought was a rival for the affections of another astronaut not her husband, a Cmdr. William Oefelein, USN. By the way, Nowak lives in Houston - yeah, she drove 900 miles through the Southeast to face off with this woman. The good captain also wore diapers during her car trip so she wouldn't have to stop along the way. (Astronauts wear adult diapers during launch and re-entry, I guess for obvious reasons. See, you learn something new every day.)
Looks like we have our first kooky love story of 2007, folks - and, appropriately enough, just before St. Valentine's Day. We're still early in this one, but from the initial details, this could put the Runaway Bride to shame. I can all but guarantee two things about this one:
1) We likely haven't heard anything yet, and
2) This will be a Law & Order episode by Christmas. Or at least an episode of NCIS.
Click on the subject line for the first of several articles about this caper.