Sunday, March 25, 2007


This is Knut. He is a polar bear - most likely the most famous polar bear in the world, even though he is less than 4 months old. (How many 4-month-olds do you know that have their own Wikipedia page - that is, that aren't related somehow to Angelina Jolie?) Knut (Knut!) currently resides at the Berlin Zoo, where he is being raised by humans, a situation necessitated by the fact that his polar bear mother, Tosca, rejected him and his brother soon after they were born in December. Knut's brother passed away, but the tiny powder puff was scooped up by handlers at the zoo before he became too frail. Now he seems to be thriving, though not everyone agreed that was the best for Knut. (Knut!) A German animal rights group, in a sentiment that an earlier group of Germans could probably appreciate, has stated publicly that little Knut would be better off dead than being raised by humans, that he would suffer the "humiliation" of being treated like a mere pet.

Hmm, humiliation - that's a loaded word. Let's see, if I could be hand-fed and allowed to play and look cute 24 hours a day and to be adored by strangers just for my looks and my status - yeah, I could live with being humiliated. It seems to be working for Paris Hilton, so there's no reason why it won't work for little Knut. (Knut!) Even when he's big Knut. Polar bears, after all, can grow to be up to 1300 pounds and 10 feet tall. By then, if anyone of his polar bear cousins give Knut any trouble, he can just whack the crap out of them. Or run them over with the Mercedes he'll get with his share of the profits from the inevitable Knut dolls.

In the meantime, marvel at the majesty that is Knut. And see if you can stop saying his name now.


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